Man's life is but an act, God's thought is the action. Knowing this, (O heart), why do you get so anxious........

Have you ever stopped to think about the events and people that have shaped your life thus far?

Not just the good moments are the most memorable but all the little things, thoughts and actions that play out in our lives and contribute to how we act and perceive the world and our selves? It may not be easy to remember or recognize all these events but within them lies the answers to many questions about why we are the person we are today. From the thoughts we carry in our own heads to the way others see and treat us, we are shaped by forces that are not always in our control or our consciousness.

If we can stop for just a few minutes each week and look into the moments that have caused us joy, pain or discomfort and then trace them to their root source within our heart we can often see that we are simply reacting to circumstances out of our conditioning and not really a conscious direct effort. We begin to see just how much of what we mistake for “us” is really nothing more than auto-pilot mode at work in our life.

Living moment to moment can be one of the toughest undertakings and yet it truly is the way to get off auto-pilot mode and come to appreciate and fully understand our self and our conditioning to the world.

So I try each day to be in direct touch with my experiences, recognize my reactions and question why it is the way it is. This has rewarded me with insights and understanding which allow me to stop being shaped by the world and start shaping my own life and world!

I think of myself as a complicated person. I'm easy to get to know, but its hard to maintain the status quo, I've been told. I don't mind that, not one bit. Nothing should come easily. Those empty spaces should be filled. And at the end of it all, if the person is by your side, they're for keeps.

A field. A vast green field. Before the sesames blossom. Before violet flowers on every tip..

A hill. One-foot road winding up. Before the cardamoms spills the pungeance. Between the dark meditating trees..

A valley. A cool snowy valley. Before the first rays drips the dew. before the first bird fly for prey..

A breeze. A soothing breeze. Before we fly on wings of time. Before the last song of night stops..

How do I make myself small enough not to be noticed?
I have not learnt the magic yet, that hides the tiger in thin reeds.
makes the lowly grasshopper look but just another leaf.

Have you ever stopped to ponder the relationship between opposing ideals?

For example have you ever considered the balance between beauty and pain? I think it is one of the ultimate paradoxes! Pain can result in beauty by transforming people into stronger individuals, but for the most part we strive to eliminate the suffering in the world. Now with that reasoning, logic would dictate that the more pain and conflict we eliminate from our own personal experience, the more potential for beauty we eliminate.

Now keep in mind here that we are not talking about torture or doing harm to others – we are simply talking about pain. The kind we inflict upon ourselves, physically, mentally and emotionally. Self-inflicting pain can create a kind of positive change (and even beauty), yet to inflict pain on others is not beautiful.

It is my belief that we need our pain, that it has a role in our life. We need pain to remind us of our vulnerability and make us constantly alert and aware of the beauty of the world around us, but we also need an end to our pain because that is what motivates us forward. It is this tension between pain and ending pain that provides resolution, the spark to get over the pain and on to the joy!

It is possible and necessary to embrace suffering in our personal lives and find beauty and dignity by doing so while also working to relieve the suffering of others. By working to end the pain of others yet not running from it ourselves, we are truly creating a tension that is capable of creating not only beauty, but real resolutions to end real problems.

So let us not run from or evade our pain in this life. If we continue to cultivate a world that fears pain and does not embrace it and conquer it as a dignified aspect of their humanity, what will we be left with?

Just a little food for thought!

If we aspire to become more aware and compassionate, the most direct way is to develop intimacy with the ‘traffic’ in our minds. There are all kinds of ways to go about it: meditating; reading; working with specific explorations or exercises in our everyday lives; talking with friends – all of these can help our minds develop a habit of looking freshly at what is going on.

There are specific angles from which it can be helpful or productive to look at our thoughts. They don’t take the place of the suggestions above, but they can touch on areas that may require deeper exploration.

First up we must have a willingness and a capacity to notice our mind, what it is doing and how it goes about it’s processes. This is the toughest part because it is so easy to go into “auto-pilot” mode. I need a reminder every so often that says “what are you thinking right now”.

Some people need no reminders and have mastered the art of noticing your mind at work. Great! Just go at your own pace and notice what you notice, with no extra reminders at all. Over the months and years, though, the noticing still adds up to something transformative.

When we pay attention to our mind, we begin to see that we are leaning into the future and completely missing the present. Practicing presence punctures the fantasy that somehow life will begin when the job is over or when I lose ten pounds or when I get the house clean. Practicing presence is bringing ourselves to the recognition that life is happening right now – and it is inviting us to wake up and notice. The more we notice the more aware and compassionate we become not only towards ourselves but others as well!

Peace to all!!

I'm above all of you, all of this, above the world. Above the stuff, and the money the feelings and the needing. Who cares how we were created. I know this for a fact, we'll never know or we eventually will find out, and thats all that matters. Why kill each other over how we have gotten here, or how long it took.

Maybe I'm just not intellegent enough to care about the important things and want to seek out the answers. I'm too dull to even grasp at the importance of our creation, or im too tired of the fickleness that it has become. The fashion like quality it has taken on. Shouldn't we be capable of governing ourselves? we dont need police. Isn't that what our parents taught us? By punishing us and rewarding us for our good and bad deeds. Isn't the way to act common sense? or has it been lost? I want to acheive something great, to be the first and only to do this.

As we grow older life becomes much more difficult to put into words. I'll be turning 27 this year. Isnt it weird how slowly but surely you grow up, life continues and sometimes without you noticing you're a completely different person. like these thoughts im afraid nothing will come from my life.

A few good jokes and then I'll be done off to where ever it is when we die. Its just somedays i feel like I'm about to break through this wall, something from keeping me from the next level of whatever life is, to finally be able to figure this thing out and i get stumped. Its like i have this almost infinite piece puzzle infront of me, with no picture on the front of the box for a refrence and im still looking for that 4th corner. Right now im feeling rather introspective, intellegent and above average, but im sure you guys have thoughts like this. Im just trying to make myself feel better by using slightly large words and talking about nothing. I sum myself up to more than i am. I should realize that im just another man of the 6+billion people on this planet.

but i dream of being so much more...

I smiled
when i wanted to smirk
I laughed
when i wanted to shriek
I obliged
when i wanted to shun
I thought
when i wanted to reflect
I praised
when i wanted to abuse
I loved
when i wanted to hate
I started
when i wanted to stop.

The thin line sometimes blurs..then fades...
when i can't find me...lost in the ripples..
I start now...I start again

To go home...
and drink in the sweet air of being and belonging .
To walk barefooted on the damp earth and let the sand grains tingle the feet.
To ride the half rusted bicycle and let the wind run through my hair.

To wake up in my room and savour the dream that still lingers.
To view the green yard through the open window.
To sink deeper into the blanket folds and wait for my mother to give hourly time alerts.
To feast on my favorite dishes laid out with warmth and care.
To listen to the local radio station and recall myself.

To run, open the door for father, offer to make coffee and surprise him.

The silence has begun; no more can anything be heard. The melody goes on, flowing from note to note, quavers, semi-quavers it flows, as my mind begin to grasp the source it changes path, turning to another long pause, then I wonder, was it me? Did I hear the sound? Has my senses deceived my mind again? I wonder longing for answers, but nothing comes, nothing’s heard & I’m back again!

I keep wondering, dreaming about the melody, I thought I heard, I did, didn’t I? It went on, again and again. I felt the hunger, something’s missing, I don't want the melody alone, don’t want the sound gone, then suddenly, like the first beam of light that escapes the horizon I hear another tune, this time a bit higher, almost enduring, but not so smooth. I hear it in the distance, long awaited sound, I hear the voice, of another means of silence, but why? That too is alone, not so strong. I wonder? Can it be? Or could it see the skin of an unearthly pride, though it stands alone, similar & high it still does not see the beauty of being combined. I look down my heart, sad but adamant, I want them both, I want them both tonight, but could it ever be? I feel lost, slowly I breathe, thinking the thought I just began.

I take my step, slow and steady, I think to myself, I must be ready, I must be calm but my heart just beats like an endless storm. I hear them again, I see the sign, they are both around but not so fond. I fight my battle, get them to settle but can they be? Will they see? United they conquer but alone they fall. I hear the cry, I hear the voice, I think they know what I might feel. One just nods, he says Yes, he is willing to take the flight. My eyes turn red, not with fire, but with desire they must come together. Confused and lost, I look at them, they see my tears just crying for help. They know my heart longs not for selfish intentions, but yet they don’t seem to see the depth in their tones. Time passes by, more tunes appear and more tones are heard. Notes fly loud, they slither soft, and they just seem to pass by so fast. Even in the most congested beat, seems just a sound, a noise, irritating at times, frustrated tempo, I begin to wonder, wonder about my long lost pals? Did they make it? Were they compatible, were they on key? Will they give birth to another new song? I long to hear the same melody, long to hear the sound again.

I wait & I wait, I’ll always wait… Wait for the Harmony of Silence!

that feeble instance I do remember,

Is that a figment of my imagination or a feeble mark on past recollections.

Memories we call them, they come in peace.

Bitter sweet symphonies of the time gone by.

They lay deep as brush strokes by an impressionist,

Circling my attic like a fleet of pigeons,

an armada that sails through the trysts of time.

They lie clustered in those corridors of remembrance,

I pluck each one and smell there languid air,

they make me laugh and cry;

Some shall not fade though some muffle past by.

Clutching onto them I am reminded of times, of love,sadness, fear, mirth and laughter.

Some make me relish the time gone by,

Some talk to me in the tone I love.

Showing glimpses of those I treasure,

the one's far, close and those departed souls.

They lay there; all inked in the book of time,

turn the page and the moment is alive,

I try to hold on to them and they fly past by.

I ask a few not to bother me again,

they say; it was me that gave them space to stay

and here I see something happening again ..

Call it déjà-vu is what they say ...

I sat by the banks of a river frequented by many, one evening, with my mates, armed with earplugs against the cacophony of the supposedly ‘normal’ people, bathing in the waters of their prenotions, emerging unwashed, and ready for scrambling forward through the crowd waiting for their turn. I waited, or rather stayed idle, as the earplugs, which masked not just the sounds, produced a mystic symphony, and I passed out.

I woke up, must have been a little later, to find me all alone in a place bearing a slight similarity to those banks where I was before. The waters were crystal clear, and appeared still, boasting of its fertile tributaries which had shaped up the reckless, shabby stream into a mobile example of clarity, gushing ahead or rather making a slow procession, in contrast with its parallel railings of instability, with a grace of self realisation, for the flow seemed sure of its destination though it has to endure a sinuous course ahead.

The yellowish tinted moon, which appeared swollen, conveniently with my opalescent memories, made the waters shimmering with a spirit of rebellion, beckoning me, as I stood up, envisaging my purpose, and I decided to bear the real music, giving away my ear plugs to my future brothers who would not be brave enough. And then I felt a hand, a warm one, on my shoulders, ensuring me of support. I turned around, and it was .....…

One of our greatest cultural shortcomings I believe is that we do not encourage or teach our people how to feel and deeply explore feelings.

Unfortunately dwelling in and deeply exploring our feeling is simply not an integral part of what we value as necessary for a good and healthy life. It was what I like to call "living in a fantasy world". One of the many consequences of this shortcoming is that we do not know our feelings or what causes them very well. If we are honest and ask ourselves why it is we want something we will discover that it is NOT the things or achievements we desire. We desire the feelings we imagine will come to us when we get the things and achievements we believe that we need!

This is not to say that things and achievements don’t matter, but just what things will offer us genuine growth? what achievements will enable us to become more of what and who we truly are? We may never know unless we understand our feelings first and foremost. The other thing we need to understand about our feelings is that we have very little say in what we feel. We simply wake each day, and like the weather, feelings will be there. But just what they will be and how we will have to respond to and contend with them is something we must search out and discover. . . . . .or not.

This like all things in life leaves us with a choice – we can either identify what we are feeling and build our life out from there; or ignore our feelings and act them out in unconscious, often destructive ways.

A simple example is the common experience of going through life with feelings of worthlessness. To compensate we pursue money, recognition and esteem. Often we are quite successful at achieving these goals only to find our self feeling bored, exhausted and even more worthless than when we started out. We had the illusion that something could take these terrible feelings away, something could change us. Once we have achieved our dreams, reached our goals and still feel horrible we have no hope that anything will change the way we feel.

Since it is always feelings we are after, why not then start with feelings? In other words, when we find ourselves wanting a thing – be it money, fame, romance, a lifestyle, whatever – why not ask ourselves why and how do we imagine getting what we want will change that? It can take a great deal of work, and we often have to shift some very primary gears and priorities in our psychological life, but once we are clear about why we want what we want, we can remove that thing or achievement from occupying the center of our attention, and put there in its stead the effort and energy that will allow us to work from where we are now toward what and where it is we would like to be.

This is a different type of work – the work of feeling and NOT doing. It can be a profoundly disorienting work, especially at first – But it is the only choice that will displace our ongoing ignorance of the feeling life, and allow us access to its precious rewards, among which are self-knowing, emotional vitality and a sense of purpose. Indeed to put feeling first is nothing short of putting human “being” before human “doing” – in an ultimate effort to transform ourselves.

Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.

Peace and Love, Aditya

on a day like this….

As you grow old Time changes.. circumstances change.. values change.. priorities change.. perception changes.. people change.. relationships change.. life changes.. …..but memories remain.. unchanged, unaffected, intact.

from contemplation to action.
from action to experience.
from experience to realization.
from realization to maturity.
from dreams to reality.
from karma to destiny.
from conscious to subconscious.
from body to soul.
from illusion to awakening.
from seeking to sharing.
from passion to obsession.
from serendipity to relationships.
from ‘here & now’ to nostalgia.
from beginning to THE END…

We all are in a rush, floating over rough roads, railed tracks and convex flyovers with the intermittent revolutions of circular wheels.

I sometimes sitting in these mobile machines, plugged into doping Rock & Roll, sometimes peek through the windows. The tracks are laden with varied vehicles, running by the help of there circular legs. The speed varies as the number of mobiles increase “traffic” we call it, a simplistic definition that captures the density and state on the road. Everyone of them placed like a jigsaw puzzle on the track, but this state of synchrony soon gets disturbed by some unruly un-regimented machines. What comes out as a result is a Jam; a name synonymous with stillness, commotion and frustration.

But it is the motion that amazes us not stillness. As humans we craves for change, evolution, revolution, innovation. Seems there is some action in these letters "tion” ...

Sitting idyllically for a while, hoping my watch needle drives me out of this stillness.... The Jam clears.

In the rhythm again…

The mellifluous cadence and high notes start flowing through my ear buds, I give a squinting glance through the bus's mirror and watch over the moving, the vehicles appear like static boxes moving in constant relativist motion to each other. But I lower my eyes at the circling wheels, they push me into a state of activity .

Rolling over… embossing rubber traces on the charcoal clad roads like footprints on wet soil. Their spirit excites me, oscillating with each strand in tipsy-turvy motion like the endless circle of karma; all firmly dictated by the firm axle. Jumping over rugged pot holes, bruising themselves over rough roads; and still maintaining their indomitable spirit of rolling .

With the musical rhapsody gently absorbing the inside of my ears and sights of the dance of spirited wheels, I stay calm; a feeling of satisfaction and an emotional high grips me.

Can non living objects in turnstile motion inspire you?
Circular rings of steel circumscribed by an inflated ring of rubber... Maybe I am insane!

Or maybe we humans just crave for a moment of happiness and a cheer.
Cheers!

Incomplete silence
layers
and melody

Incomplete loss
time
and totality

Incomplete lies
spaces
and me

-----------------------------

Falling short of something is a strange feeling. You are not sure whether you should be happy about the fact that you made it so far, or crash down thinking that it was so close. Incomplete is a perceptive word. Half full, is also at the same time half empty.

There is a silence that sometimes engulfs me between thoughts and its incompleteness leave me wondering. Its neither a silence of wordlessness nor that of thoughtlessness. Its something in between, just hanging there. And I am not sure what lies beyond....

I travel along the long road
I see my shadow following me…
Desperate, eager to overshadow me
I travel along the long road
Triumphant, joyous I feel. I won.

I change my path,I travel along;
Now I see myself following my own shadow…
Desperate, eager I run down;No avail!
My shadow-my own shadow, shadowed me over…
Triumphant, joyous she feels. She won!

The sun goes down
So does my shadow
Now I walk down all alone
Only to realize that
Victory and Failure; joy and sorrow;
Are inseparable!

I change my path…
I travel down the long road…
Triumphant, joyous! I feel I am born!

I lay, thinking deep, thoughts meandering and playing randomly in my mind. The thoughts which refused to let me take those sweet moments of snoredom, and tied me in a never ending journey of musings. They played on my mind, in so haphazard a manner, I could not pinpoint, the one which concerned me the most.

I lay, sleep eluding me all night, wondering if there was a light at the end of the tunnel. The gloom which threatened to shroud my moments of happiness and memories of joy gone by. The thoughts ranged from the present to the past, and settled into the future. What does future hold for me?

I lay, thinking further, entangled beyond disentanglement, at the predicament, of not able to close my eyes in peace. I was in an uneasy trance, accentuated by the eagerness to get up and do something, to break this train of inundating thoughts.

I lay, the deluge of thoughts never ceasing to disturb me, my mind going hither and thither, pleading my brain to break this shackle. When I did, it was with something unthinkable, which would induce a further sense of awakening, the dreaded coffee beckoned.

I lay, after a cup, dreaming when this would end. It was not long back, when I tried to break such a trend, singing and humming well past midnight. Madness, one might think, neither slept, nor did I blink. A break I wished, would wring in the calm. It never happened, and I lay disturbed.

I lay, thinking over, switching on the droning music for a change. Thinking over and over, this to be the balm, for the uneasy calm. If ever one was fatigued by uneasiness and thinking why sleep is deprived, then this was the time, this was the night. It seemed in the morning, how it might be tonight ?

One of the things I like about blogging is that it allows you to exercise your freedom of speech (to the extent you have it).

There is an old joke from the Cold War era where an American tells a Russian, “You know, I can stand in front of the White House and hold up a placard that says ‘The President of the United States is a complete idiot’”. The Russian replies, “Big deal. Even I can stand in front of the Kremlin and hold up a placard that says ‘The President of the United States is a complete idiot’”.

There are places in the world where there is absolute freedom of speech. There are places where there is absolutely no freedom of speech. There are places where there is absolute freedom of speech so long as your speech is not about that place itself and there are places where freedom of speech is curtailed, to ensure that nothing is said that may be ‘offensive’ and cause social disturbance.

It is interesting to examine what is ‘offensive’ and what is not. I am mainly looking at expressions of opinion and not referring to factually incorrect statements or libelous material. Most of the time, it is easy to distinguish between an expressed opinion and libel. “Aditya is a lousy writer” is an opinion. “Aditya had a roaring affair with Anna Kournikova” would be libel. (Against Anna).

At an individual level, there are many things that people may find offensive, depending on their own points of view and the extent of their own sensitivity. Comments against their dress, criticism of their work or even an opinion against the football team they support may be considered offensive. Generally, we would advise individuals to dispassionately see if there is any merit to a statement they find offensive. If there is, accept it. If not, disregard it or take other appropriate action.

I find that, at a personal level, we tend to get most offended when someone says something about us that we feel may be true but have not fully admitted to ourselves. If we have accepted it or are comfortable with it, we do not feel so offended. If we know for sure that it is not true, it is also easy to dismiss.

And then there are statements that we may find personally offensive that are also generically considered as offensive by most people. For example, derogatory comments on race, sex, physical disability or sexual orientation would be considered offensive in most civil societies.

I am not sure if anyone has carried out any analysis to determine why comments on race, sex, physical disability or sexual orientation are considered offensive. My own opinion is that they are classified as offensive because the underlying factors are all factors over which no individual has control. We do not choose our race or our sex at birth. We do not choose to be born with a physical or mental disability or choose to have accidents that cause them. Modern scientific opinion is that sexual orientation is also a function of the way an individual is wired from a biological point of view. Since these are not matters of choice, most people would agree that it is unfair to discriminate against any individual on these grounds. Therefore, there is general agreement on what is considered to be ‘politically correct’.

Most people also extend this ‘political correctness’ to religion. That is where I have a different opinion.

Unlike race, sex, physical disability or sexual orientation, religion is entirely a matter of choice. Let us not forget that all children are born atheists. It is the adults who bring up children who indoctrinate them with religion. It is possible that a child may be brought up by someone other than its biological parents and ends up following their religion. It is also possible that a child may not be made to follow any religion at all. The possibility that a child can be brought up without religion may not even occur to many people. Those who find the concept hard to visualize only need to look at China, where they will find a billion living examples of people who have been raised without any religion.

Since the religion a child is made to follow is purely a function of the actions of the adults who raise the child, it is, as Richard Dawkins says, meaningless to refer to a child as a “Christian child” or a “Jewish child”. That would be just like referring to a child as a “capitalist child” or a “Republican child”.

Therefore, given that religion is something that adults choose to follow or choose to indoctrinate their children with, I believe it is fair game for open discussion. An opinion based on religion is just like any other opinion that a person may have. If I disagree with the political views an individual expresses or an economic view he expresses or even an opinion on a sportsman or sports team, I am allowed to argue with that individual and express my own opinion. Why, then, is it considered politically incorrect to argue with an individual over an opinion he holds on religious grounds?

I find it hard to accept the reticence on the part of most people to have frank discussions on the subject of religion, especially because many actions taken (or not taken) on religious grounds have a significant impact on the day to day lives not just of the followers of a particular religion but also on the rest of the world.

Refusal to practice birth-control on religious grounds leads to over-population which is a threat to the whole planet. Refusal to use condoms on religious grounds increases the risk of spreading disease and endangers large sections of society. There are places where there is open discrimination on religious grounds against fifty percent of the population (women). And, of course, there are many instances of violence that are linked to religion.

There are religious texts that are considered by believers to be inerrant wherein Paragraph D says “Do X” and Paragraph P says “Do Y” and, on plain reading, an overwhelming majority of human beings would find Y to be the exact opposite of X and would also find Y to be socially unacceptable. It is possible that someone with a PhD in Theology may have some convoluted interpretation that attempts to reconcile the paragraphs that most people would agree are contradictory. Frankly, the interpretation of the guy with the PhD does not matter. What matters is the interpretation of the priests on the streets who are preaching to the masses. If many of them are urging their followers to simply “Do Y”, the world has a problem.

Handling such issues with kid gloves will only perpetuate and aggravate the problems. What is needed is frank and open dialogue and not ‘political correctness’ that sweeps such issues under the carpet or fails to confront them directly. We cannot hope to bring about the reform that the world desperately needs by holding back our comments on religion just to avoid causing offence.

P.S: Those who are interested can also read this article on the evolution of religion.

Too many of us are operating out of a certain need despite believing we are acting in our best interest. A need for comfort, a need for achievement, a need for social acceptance, a need for a partner, and so on.

As human beings we do continually create situations through our desires, which ultimately manifests and brings us temporary joy. We then move on to the next something, furthering our perceived upward movement toward accomplishing our next "x"--whatever "x" means to you. Then we reach these goals and still, many remain unhappy.

Many more truly have given up on this "illusive notion" and claim they don't believe it's possible. How many people do you know, and including you, after having reached these goals, met their needs, fulfill their desires still remain unhappy? Their intentions were there right from the start, and the process was set in motion until they achieved.

What went wrong? Why are so many people depressed, or stressed out these days? Where is the happiness? Not the short term excitement, but enthusiasm coated with pure happiness. What's the secret?

When we respond to the world around us from our true self, who we are, what we are, and accepting what is, only then can one experience not only self-love but also happiness.

It maybe cliché to add but it is a fact: Loving yourself, for who and what you are, only then can you come to love others and share with others. Otherwise, like an empty vessel, one is limited to their desires, impulses, and false intentions. How straight are you about you? What kind of mask(s) do you wear for the world to see?
A victim mask, (trying to put the blame on others) or maybe a workaholic mask (trying to justify your time to avoid something else in life) .. they are so many mask

When you wear these masks, you repress who you really are and with it comes a price--there is always a price. For many it's unhappiness with a seam made of frustration, resentment, jealousy, anger, depression and so on. In addition, acting from falsehood makes you want to escape from this world to rejuvenate, to recoup, because of exhaustion. It does take a lot of energy when we are playing a certain role, performing under the mask, escaping pain. How can this process of being result in happiness?

These are just some examples of how we push away true happiness melted between unresolved pains. How can there be any hope for happiness when one is living this type of existence?

The path to happiness is truly living your life from the real core, the real center, your heart, the real you. Dropping masks, accepting unalterable realities, stop trying to control situations/people or their reactions to you and stop seeking or expecting approval. These factors will take you off the path of experiencing true happiness. If you think you can't live differently, the real you knows better!

Are we but grains of sand,
Upon the beach of life,
With the ever moving,
Menace of destiny,
To snatch us from our strife.

Are we but corn in a field,
Lost in the summer heat,
With the ever present,
Harvest time,
To make us into wheat.

Are we but souls upon the earth,
Struggling for a worth,
With the ever looming,
Time of death,
To take away our birth.

Empirical observations from New York...

...on the basis of walking around midtown and downtown Manhattan.

At a reasonably brisk pace of walking, one sees
a. A Dunkin Donuts every 14 minutes
b. A McDonalds every 10 minutes
c. A Starbucks every 5 minutes
d. A Japanese tourist clicking photos of everything that moves (and most things that don't) every 2 minutes.

Other observations/musings:
a. Nothing seems to have changed since I was here 5 years ago. Except for the fact that every second person has an Apple product in his pocket, on his palm, or in his ear.
b. Manhattan is a very very easy place to be a tourist and/or explorer on foot. The fact that lower midtown and northwards is laid out in simple rectangular grids makes it idiot-proof, and hence ideal for me.
c. Italian food in New York is probably second only to Italian food in Italy(I am guessing!)
d. Times Square is simply waaaaay too loud and bright. The screens light up the damn place like it's daytime. Nice if you like that kind of burning-the-eyeballs intensity. I'm sure with this kind of energy consumption, Times Square alone must be a major contributor to global warming. Any thoughts, Mr Gore? On the other hand, I must admit the sheer vitality of the place is simply mindblowing. And very very seductive.
d. Blueberry Cake Donuts in NYC rock. Big time. And I will brook no argument whatsoever on this point. (anyone who dares suggest such a thing will have to deal with a fist that has grown 150% in 14 days from all the eating and being lazy! vacation it is!.)

I give you… my top 5 hindi songs of 2009


#5. Dhan Te Nan from Kaminey.

Remember that first promo of Kaminey? The one that instantly made Kaminey the most awaited movie of the year for everyone? Well, it worked for a lot of reasons, specially the dialogue – “तीन फ़ाल फ़े… फ़कल भी नहीं देखी मैंने उफ़्की”, “अब कहाँ गयी तुम्हारी स…. स…. साइंस! होम साइंस!”, “तो क्या rape किया मैंने तुम्हारा?!!”, “मैं फ़ को फ़ बोलता हूँ…”, “अबे फ़ को फ़ नहीं तो क्या ल बोलेगा?” – but not the least of those reasons was the PulpFictionesque trumpet in the background that explodes at the perfect moment with the song that must surely be a shoo-in for the most popular song of the year!

What an idea it was to take that quintessential bollywood action movie sound “Dhan Te Nan” and turn it into such a wonderful song for the dance floor! And, with Kaminey, it goes without saying (I’ll say it nevertheless :P ) that the way it is used in the movie is purrrrfect! High on drugs and anticipation of a gloriously fun-filled life ahead, celebrating the biggest success of their lives on a dance floor, what will the two friends sing BUT “Dhan Te Nan!” :)

Sukhwinder does what he normally does with such songs, but he actually doesn’t get into the mood nearly as well as Vishal Dadlani does! As for lyrics, Gulzar does his usual Gulzargiri, of course..

“आजा आजा दिल निचोडें
रात की मटकी तोडें
कोई goodluck निकालें
आज गुल्लक तो फोडें!”

“कोई चाल ऐसी चलो यार अबके,
समंदर भी पुल पे चले
फिर तू चले उसपे, या मैं चलूँ,
शहर हो अपने पैरों तले!
कहीं खबरें हैं, कहीं कबरें हैं,
जो भी सोये हैं कबरों में, उनको जगाना नहीं”

All I can say is that Gulzar only needs to be kept away from Subhash Ghai! He writes some of the most enjoyable lyrics in hindi movies almost effortlessly.


#4. Paayaliya from Dev.D

Dev.D isn’t an easy album to like on the first hearing. A lot of the songs are just so unlike “movie songs” that one gets a little uneasy listening to the first 4-5 songs of the album. And then comes “Paayaliya”. You don’t know what to make of it what with all the “अरज अरज करी, करज करजवा को करे हर पल बेचैन”, “नींदें बिसर कर दे” etc lyrics and the voice that sings the first line giving it a rustic feeling, yet the instruments and the actual singing voice and style (not to speak of the backing vocals saying “By God” etc) make it sound so modern. And yet, nothing really sounds ‘inconsistent’. You might not know what to make of it, but you like it nevertheless. This is one song where lyrics just don’t matter to me at all! She could’ve sung this in aramaic and I’d still have liked it! Amit Trivedi got everyone’s attention with Aamir last year and amazed people with the sheer range of music in Dev.D, but it took THIS song to convince me that we really are looking at someone special. The songs starts well, but it is really the tune of the stanzas that make me love this song so much. I mean the tunes for “अरज अरज करी, करज करजवा को करे हर पल बेचैन” and then later for “हो! जिया पे छाये, जिया पे छाये, छाये छाये छाये छाये रे!” The lyrics, as I said, are there just as convenient space-fillers. The might mean something, but honestly, I really never feel like thinking about them when the song is going on. And if I try to think about the lyrics later, I invariably get sucked into listening to the voice in my head that is singing the song and forget all about the lyrics again! What a song! :)

#3) Rehna Tu from Delhi-6.

ARR seems to always keep the best (or one of the best) song of the album for himself to sing, doesn’t he? :) Or perhaps it is something to do with the combination of his singing AND the genre of songs that he sings that just makes me love them.
It is a sign of a great album that your favorite song of the album keeps changing for a long time before possibly settling in on one (sometimes that stage never arrives. Every time I listen to a song from Dil Se, THAT song suddenly seems to be the best in the album). Delhi-6 is one of ARR’s better albums of last 5-6 years, and yet, it took me a long time to look beyond ‘Rehna Tu’ when I thought about my favorite song of the album. ARR’s soothing vocals, SUCH a nice melodious tune and Prasoon Joshi’s romantic lyrics, wow! All we needed was a great video to go with it, but Rakesh Mehra let us down. :( I think they were going for the same thing that they did with Rang De Basanti – using the songs in completely unexpected places (no one would’ve expected Luka Chhupi and Roobaroo to be used the way they were). It sort of worked for a lot of people in RDB (Roobaroo didn’t work for me though… I mean the picturization, not the song), but it just didn’t work at ALL for Rehna Tu and Dil Gira Dafatan here. We can keep listening to the song and try to keep the accompanying visuals away from our mind. That isn’t all that difficult actually. Specially when the song ends with that long continuum keyboard piece, one doesn’t think of any visual at all, and just listens! If I had to choose one piece of instrumental magic for this year, it has got the be the last 1 min of Rehna Tu!


Which brings us to my two songs of 2009!

#1-2. Arziyaan from Delhi-6 and Iktaara from Wake Up Sid.

Last year all year-end reports mentioned Benny Dayal as the newcomer singer of the year, whereas the REAL find was the voice of Javed Ali. Smooth as – pardon the cliché – silk. Had you asked me before I listened to ‘Arziyaan’ whether a song of qawwali/sufi genre would suit Kailash Kher’s voice or Javed Ali’s I’d have chosen Kher. Yet, every time I hear any part of this unusually long song in my mind, it is ALWAYS in Javed Ali’s voice, not Kailash Kher’s. Not to say that Kher doesn’t do justice to his lines. Just that Javed Ali absolutely OWNS this song.

Did I say Javed Ali owns this song? That’s just in terms of singing, of course. As for the rest, I don’t think I even need to talk about ARR here because, after all, we anyway expect him to do wonders in this genre. Forget doing wonders, has anyone else even composed anything similar in last 5-10 years? The fast paced, dance floor friendly qawwali songs, yes, but not anything with a slow, soothing, sufi touch.
So, there you go, Rahman did what Rahman does – be a genius. Nothing new there. Actually, it is Prasoon Joshi who REALLY owns the song. This is a long song and the lyrics are good throughout, but seriously speaking he didn’t really need to write anything beyond “दरारें दरारें हैं माथे पे मौला, मरम्मत मुकद्दर की कर दो मौला ” and I’d have been sold anyway.

“प्यास लेके आया था, दरिया वो भर लाया,
नूर की बारिश में भीगता सा तर आया “

“एक खुशबू आती थी, मैं भटकता जाता था,
रेशमी सी माया थी, और मैं तकता जाता था….
जब तेरी गली आया, सच तभी नज़र आया,
मुझमें ही वो खुशबू थी, जिससे तूने मिलवाया…”

As I mentioned, it was actually ‘Rehna Tu’ that was my favorite song of the album for the longest time and while that song didn’t go down in my estimation over time, Arziyaan went through all the familiar stages of those songs of ARR that stay with you the longest. From “hmm… nice sounding song, but perhaps a bit too generic” to “hmmm.. this is actually pretty nice.. Javed Ali sounds so good!” to “that maula-maula bit is pretty addictive, though perhaps the song goes on for too long” to “WOW! what lyrics! marammat muqaddar ki and all!!” to, finally, “too long? I could listen to this for hours!!! How long have I been continuously singing this for, again? 2 days perhaps!” :) Song of the year, without doubt.

IKTARA

It’s that voice. Kavita Seth’s voice has something in it that gives Iktaara that extra punch. From the first line of the song “ओ रे मनवा तू तो बांवरा है… तू ही जाने तू क्या सोचता है, बाँवरे” to the way she pronounces बूँद-बूँद and मूँद-मूँद… she just elevates the song so much!

As for the song itself, Amit Trivedi has outdone himself here! He thought of this song for a background piece in the movie?! THIS song?? It carries the whole album! In an year when Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy were particularly lacking in inspiration, I’m sure this song from Amit Trivedi got played more times than all S-E-L songs from this year, let along from this whole album. I think I’ll wait for one more album from Amit Trivedi, and if it is nearly as good as Aamir, Dev.D or this song, I’ll probably start saying that he is to hindi film music what Vishal Bhardwaj and Raju Hirani are to hindi films! :) Meaning, I’ll wait for every album by Amit Trivedi as much as I now wait for Vishal’s and Hirani’s movies. There is always the danger of a new composer running out of all of the great songs in his mind after the first few albums, but we shall keep hoping.

Looking forward to such amazing music again in 2k10! :)

Oh by the way, Happy new Year Everybody!