Time...  

Posted by Aditya Abburi


what is time
what is this thing that goes on without pause?
if it did not pass, then where could it have been?
it must have been somewhere.
it has passed.
so where is it now?
it must be somewhere.
where did it come from? where did it go?
where did the process start? where will it end?
what is time?


these events
incidents, conflicts
every grief, every joy
every torment, every pleasure
every smile, every tear
every song, every scent
it may be the pain of a wound or the magic of a tender touch
one lonely voice or cries around
successes and failures assailing the mind
the upheavels of care, the tumult of the heart
all fellings, all emotions
are like leaves floating on the surface of water
as they swim along
now here, now there and now they disappear
gone from sight but there must be something flowing along
what is this river
what hill has it come from
to what sea is it going
what is time


sometimes i think
when i see trees from a moving train
it seems
they go in the opposite way
but in reality
the trees are standing still
so can it be
that all our centuries row upon row
are standing still
can it be that time is fixed
and we alone are in motion
can it be that in this one moment all moments are hidden
no future, no past
what has gone by is happening now
what will come about is happening now
sometimes i think
can it be possible
that this is true that we are in motion
we pass by
and what we imagine is moving is really motionless
moving, not moving
whole or divided
is it frozen or is it melting
who knows
who can guess
what is time?

Nostalgia  

Posted by Aditya Abburi

Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if you did something slightly different? How your life would turn out if you took a step in the opposite direction? or if you chose a different career path? or moved to a different city? or stayed in the same city? To me, the butterfly effect is such a mysterious and fascinating thing – one small change in your past could have a ripple effect that completely alters the course of your life.

I have often wondered if I had chosen a different preference for university where that would lead me – would I still be in university for an advanced degree? What about if I did not come to USA in the first place? Would I be more satisfied than my current situation? Has this journey made me a wiser person? Would I still have kept in touch with all the people I do? These question are always unanswered – I always draw up with a blank. It isn’t often that I regret the choices I make but sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I could have done things a little bit differently.

They say reminiscing about the past prevents you from moving forward into the future but sometimes you just can’t help it. I often wonder about these “what ifs”. Life is filled with so many uncertainties and questions – you cannot help it sometimes, but to think of all the steps that lead you exactly to this point in time, right this instant. Did you make the right choice? Are you making the right decisions? Is your life exactly how you imagined it to be? I am plagued by these questions frequently – like the giant pink elephant in the room, it is like a hazy fog lurking around in the back of my mind, and no matter how much I try to reach out of it to clear the air, I can never seem to accomplish the task.

Is it a mid life crisis? I’m not sure… not sure if 28 is classified as “mid-life” but I certainly have done a lot of reflecting over these last couple of years. Maybe I am just getting old. Nostalgia is such a dangerous thing. It can consume you if you are not careful!