One of our greatest cultural shortcomings I believe is that we do not encourage or teach our people how to feel and deeply explore feelings.

Unfortunately dwelling in and deeply exploring our feeling is simply not an integral part of what we value as necessary for a good and healthy life. It was what I like to call "living in a fantasy world". One of the many consequences of this shortcoming is that we do not know our feelings or what causes them very well. If we are honest and ask ourselves why it is we want something we will discover that it is NOT the things or achievements we desire. We desire the feelings we imagine will come to us when we get the things and achievements we believe that we need!

This is not to say that things and achievements don’t matter, but just what things will offer us genuine growth? what achievements will enable us to become more of what and who we truly are? We may never know unless we understand our feelings first and foremost. The other thing we need to understand about our feelings is that we have very little say in what we feel. We simply wake each day, and like the weather, feelings will be there. But just what they will be and how we will have to respond to and contend with them is something we must search out and discover. . . . . .or not.

This like all things in life leaves us with a choice – we can either identify what we are feeling and build our life out from there; or ignore our feelings and act them out in unconscious, often destructive ways.

A simple example is the common experience of going through life with feelings of worthlessness. To compensate we pursue money, recognition and esteem. Often we are quite successful at achieving these goals only to find our self feeling bored, exhausted and even more worthless than when we started out. We had the illusion that something could take these terrible feelings away, something could change us. Once we have achieved our dreams, reached our goals and still feel horrible we have no hope that anything will change the way we feel.

Since it is always feelings we are after, why not then start with feelings? In other words, when we find ourselves wanting a thing – be it money, fame, romance, a lifestyle, whatever – why not ask ourselves why and how do we imagine getting what we want will change that? It can take a great deal of work, and we often have to shift some very primary gears and priorities in our psychological life, but once we are clear about why we want what we want, we can remove that thing or achievement from occupying the center of our attention, and put there in its stead the effort and energy that will allow us to work from where we are now toward what and where it is we would like to be.

This is a different type of work – the work of feeling and NOT doing. It can be a profoundly disorienting work, especially at first – But it is the only choice that will displace our ongoing ignorance of the feeling life, and allow us access to its precious rewards, among which are self-knowing, emotional vitality and a sense of purpose. Indeed to put feeling first is nothing short of putting human “being” before human “doing” – in an ultimate effort to transform ourselves.

Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.

Peace and Love, Aditya