Have you ever stopped to ponder the relationship between opposing ideals?

For example have you ever considered the balance between beauty and pain? I think it is one of the ultimate paradoxes! Pain can result in beauty by transforming people into stronger individuals, but for the most part we strive to eliminate the suffering in the world. Now with that reasoning, logic would dictate that the more pain and conflict we eliminate from our own personal experience, the more potential for beauty we eliminate.

Now keep in mind here that we are not talking about torture or doing harm to others – we are simply talking about pain. The kind we inflict upon ourselves, physically, mentally and emotionally. Self-inflicting pain can create a kind of positive change (and even beauty), yet to inflict pain on others is not beautiful.

It is my belief that we need our pain, that it has a role in our life. We need pain to remind us of our vulnerability and make us constantly alert and aware of the beauty of the world around us, but we also need an end to our pain because that is what motivates us forward. It is this tension between pain and ending pain that provides resolution, the spark to get over the pain and on to the joy!

It is possible and necessary to embrace suffering in our personal lives and find beauty and dignity by doing so while also working to relieve the suffering of others. By working to end the pain of others yet not running from it ourselves, we are truly creating a tension that is capable of creating not only beauty, but real resolutions to end real problems.

So let us not run from or evade our pain in this life. If we continue to cultivate a world that fears pain and does not embrace it and conquer it as a dignified aspect of their humanity, what will we be left with?

Just a little food for thought!

If we aspire to become more aware and compassionate, the most direct way is to develop intimacy with the ‘traffic’ in our minds. There are all kinds of ways to go about it: meditating; reading; working with specific explorations or exercises in our everyday lives; talking with friends – all of these can help our minds develop a habit of looking freshly at what is going on.

There are specific angles from which it can be helpful or productive to look at our thoughts. They don’t take the place of the suggestions above, but they can touch on areas that may require deeper exploration.

First up we must have a willingness and a capacity to notice our mind, what it is doing and how it goes about it’s processes. This is the toughest part because it is so easy to go into “auto-pilot” mode. I need a reminder every so often that says “what are you thinking right now”.

Some people need no reminders and have mastered the art of noticing your mind at work. Great! Just go at your own pace and notice what you notice, with no extra reminders at all. Over the months and years, though, the noticing still adds up to something transformative.

When we pay attention to our mind, we begin to see that we are leaning into the future and completely missing the present. Practicing presence punctures the fantasy that somehow life will begin when the job is over or when I lose ten pounds or when I get the house clean. Practicing presence is bringing ourselves to the recognition that life is happening right now – and it is inviting us to wake up and notice. The more we notice the more aware and compassionate we become not only towards ourselves but others as well!

Peace to all!!

I'm above all of you, all of this, above the world. Above the stuff, and the money the feelings and the needing. Who cares how we were created. I know this for a fact, we'll never know or we eventually will find out, and thats all that matters. Why kill each other over how we have gotten here, or how long it took.

Maybe I'm just not intellegent enough to care about the important things and want to seek out the answers. I'm too dull to even grasp at the importance of our creation, or im too tired of the fickleness that it has become. The fashion like quality it has taken on. Shouldn't we be capable of governing ourselves? we dont need police. Isn't that what our parents taught us? By punishing us and rewarding us for our good and bad deeds. Isn't the way to act common sense? or has it been lost? I want to acheive something great, to be the first and only to do this.

As we grow older life becomes much more difficult to put into words. I'll be turning 27 this year. Isnt it weird how slowly but surely you grow up, life continues and sometimes without you noticing you're a completely different person. like these thoughts im afraid nothing will come from my life.

A few good jokes and then I'll be done off to where ever it is when we die. Its just somedays i feel like I'm about to break through this wall, something from keeping me from the next level of whatever life is, to finally be able to figure this thing out and i get stumped. Its like i have this almost infinite piece puzzle infront of me, with no picture on the front of the box for a refrence and im still looking for that 4th corner. Right now im feeling rather introspective, intellegent and above average, but im sure you guys have thoughts like this. Im just trying to make myself feel better by using slightly large words and talking about nothing. I sum myself up to more than i am. I should realize that im just another man of the 6+billion people on this planet.

but i dream of being so much more...

I smiled
when i wanted to smirk
I laughed
when i wanted to shriek
I obliged
when i wanted to shun
I thought
when i wanted to reflect
I praised
when i wanted to abuse
I loved
when i wanted to hate
I started
when i wanted to stop.

The thin line sometimes blurs..then fades...
when i can't find me...lost in the ripples..
I start now...I start again

To go home...
and drink in the sweet air of being and belonging .
To walk barefooted on the damp earth and let the sand grains tingle the feet.
To ride the half rusted bicycle and let the wind run through my hair.

To wake up in my room and savour the dream that still lingers.
To view the green yard through the open window.
To sink deeper into the blanket folds and wait for my mother to give hourly time alerts.
To feast on my favorite dishes laid out with warmth and care.
To listen to the local radio station and recall myself.

To run, open the door for father, offer to make coffee and surprise him.

The silence has begun; no more can anything be heard. The melody goes on, flowing from note to note, quavers, semi-quavers it flows, as my mind begin to grasp the source it changes path, turning to another long pause, then I wonder, was it me? Did I hear the sound? Has my senses deceived my mind again? I wonder longing for answers, but nothing comes, nothing’s heard & I’m back again!

I keep wondering, dreaming about the melody, I thought I heard, I did, didn’t I? It went on, again and again. I felt the hunger, something’s missing, I don't want the melody alone, don’t want the sound gone, then suddenly, like the first beam of light that escapes the horizon I hear another tune, this time a bit higher, almost enduring, but not so smooth. I hear it in the distance, long awaited sound, I hear the voice, of another means of silence, but why? That too is alone, not so strong. I wonder? Can it be? Or could it see the skin of an unearthly pride, though it stands alone, similar & high it still does not see the beauty of being combined. I look down my heart, sad but adamant, I want them both, I want them both tonight, but could it ever be? I feel lost, slowly I breathe, thinking the thought I just began.

I take my step, slow and steady, I think to myself, I must be ready, I must be calm but my heart just beats like an endless storm. I hear them again, I see the sign, they are both around but not so fond. I fight my battle, get them to settle but can they be? Will they see? United they conquer but alone they fall. I hear the cry, I hear the voice, I think they know what I might feel. One just nods, he says Yes, he is willing to take the flight. My eyes turn red, not with fire, but with desire they must come together. Confused and lost, I look at them, they see my tears just crying for help. They know my heart longs not for selfish intentions, but yet they don’t seem to see the depth in their tones. Time passes by, more tunes appear and more tones are heard. Notes fly loud, they slither soft, and they just seem to pass by so fast. Even in the most congested beat, seems just a sound, a noise, irritating at times, frustrated tempo, I begin to wonder, wonder about my long lost pals? Did they make it? Were they compatible, were they on key? Will they give birth to another new song? I long to hear the same melody, long to hear the sound again.

I wait & I wait, I’ll always wait… Wait for the Harmony of Silence!