The silence has begun; no more can anything be heard. The melody goes on, flowing from note to note, quavers, semi-quavers it flows, as my mind begin to grasp the source it changes path, turning to another long pause, then I wonder, was it me? Did I hear the sound? Has my senses deceived my mind again? I wonder longing for answers, but nothing comes, nothing’s heard & I’m back again!
I keep wondering, dreaming about the melody, I thought I heard, I did, didn’t I? It went on, again and again. I felt the hunger, something’s missing, I don't want the melody alone, don’t want the sound gone, then suddenly, like the first beam of light that escapes the horizon I hear another tune, this time a bit higher, almost enduring, but not so smooth. I hear it in the distance, long awaited sound, I hear the voice, of another means of silence, but why? That too is alone, not so strong. I wonder? Can it be? Or could it see the skin of an unearthly pride, though it stands alone, similar & high it still does not see the beauty of being combined. I look down my heart, sad but adamant, I want them both, I want them both tonight, but could it ever be? I feel lost, slowly I breathe, thinking the thought I just began.
I take my step, slow and steady, I think to myself, I must be ready, I must be calm but my heart just beats like an endless storm. I hear them again, I see the sign, they are both around but not so fond. I fight my battle, get them to settle but can they be? Will they see? United they conquer but alone they fall. I hear the cry, I hear the voice, I think they know what I might feel. One just nods, he says Yes, he is willing to take the flight. My eyes turn red, not with fire, but with desire they must come together. Confused and lost, I look at them, they see my tears just crying for help. They know my heart longs not for selfish intentions, but yet they don’t seem to see the depth in their tones. Time passes by, more tunes appear and more tones are heard. Notes fly loud, they slither soft, and they just seem to pass by so fast. Even in the most congested beat, seems just a sound, a noise, irritating at times, frustrated tempo, I begin to wonder, wonder about my long lost pals? Did they make it? Were they compatible, were they on key? Will they give birth to another new song? I long to hear the same melody, long to hear the sound again.
I wait & I wait, I’ll always wait… Wait for the Harmony of Silence!
Memories we call them, they come in peace. Bitter sweet symphonies of the time gone by. They lay deep as brush strokes by an impressionist, Circling my attic like a fleet of pigeons, an armada that sails through the trysts of time. They lie clustered in those corridors of remembrance, I pluck each one and smell there languid air, they make me laugh and cry; Some shall not fade though some muffle past by. Clutching onto them I am reminded of times, of love,sadness, fear, mirth and laughter. Some make me relish the time gone by, Some talk to me in the tone I love. Showing glimpses of those I treasure, the one's far, close and those departed souls. They lay there; all inked in the book of time, turn the page and the moment is alive, I try to hold on to them and they fly past by. I ask a few not to bother me again, they say; it was me that gave them space to stay and here I see something happening again .. Call it déjà-vu is what they say ...
I woke up, must have been a little later, to find me all alone in a place bearing a slight similarity to those banks where I was before. The waters were crystal clear, and appeared still, boasting of its fertile tributaries which had shaped up the reckless, shabby stream into a mobile example of clarity, gushing ahead or rather making a slow procession, in contrast with its parallel railings of instability, with a grace of self realisation, for the flow seemed sure of its destination though it has to endure a sinuous course ahead.
The yellowish tinted moon, which appeared swollen, conveniently with my opalescent memories, made the waters shimmering with a spirit of rebellion, beckoning me, as I stood up, envisaging my purpose, and I decided to bear the real music, giving away my ear plugs to my future brothers who would not be brave enough. And then I felt a hand, a warm one, on my shoulders, ensuring me of support. I turned around, and it was .....…
One of our greatest cultural shortcomings I believe is that we do not encourage or teach our people how to feel and deeply explore feelings. Unfortunately dwelling in and deeply exploring our feeling is simply not an integral part of what we value as necessary for a good and healthy life. It was what I like to call "living in a fantasy world". One of the many consequences of this shortcoming is that we do not know our feelings or what causes them very well. If we are honest and ask ourselves why it is we want something we will discover that it is NOT the things or achievements we desire. We desire the feelings we imagine will come to us when we get the things and achievements we believe that we need! This is not to say that things and achievements don’t matter, but just what things will offer us genuine growth? what achievements will enable us to become more of what and who we truly are? We may never know unless we understand our feelings first and foremost. The other thing we need to understand about our feelings is that we have very little say in what we feel. We simply wake each day, and like the weather, feelings will be there. But just what they will be and how we will have to respond to and contend with them is something we must search out and discover. . . . . .or not. This like all things in life leaves us with a choice – we can either identify what we are feeling and build our life out from there; or ignore our feelings and act them out in unconscious, often destructive ways. A simple example is the common experience of going through life with feelings of worthlessness. To compensate we pursue money, recognition and esteem. Often we are quite successful at achieving these goals only to find our self feeling bored, exhausted and even more worthless than when we started out. We had the illusion that something could take these terrible feelings away, something could change us. Once we have achieved our dreams, reached our goals and still feel horrible we have no hope that anything will change the way we feel. Since it is always feelings we are after, why not then start with feelings? In other words, when we find ourselves wanting a thing – be it money, fame, romance, a lifestyle, whatever – why not ask ourselves why and how do we imagine getting what we want will change that? It can take a great deal of work, and we often have to shift some very primary gears and priorities in our psychological life, but once we are clear about why we want what we want, we can remove that thing or achievement from occupying the center of our attention, and put there in its stead the effort and energy that will allow us to work from where we are now toward what and where it is we would like to be. This is a different type of work – the work of feeling and NOT doing. It can be a profoundly disorienting work, especially at first – But it is the only choice that will displace our ongoing ignorance of the feeling life, and allow us access to its precious rewards, among which are self-knowing, emotional vitality and a sense of purpose. Indeed to put feeling first is nothing short of putting human “being” before human “doing” – in an ultimate effort to transform ourselves. Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human. Peace and Love, Aditya
on a day like this…. As you grow old Time changes.. circumstances change.. values change.. priorities change.. perception changes.. people change.. relationships change.. life changes.. …..but memories remain.. unchanged, unaffected, intact.
from contemplation to action.
from action to experience.
from experience to realization.
from realization to maturity.
from dreams to reality.
from karma to destiny.
from conscious to subconscious.
from body to soul.
from illusion to awakening.
from seeking to sharing.
from passion to obsession.
from serendipity to relationships.
from ‘here & now’ to nostalgia.
from beginning to THE END…